What the heck goes on when there’s no baking in the kitchen?

Temporary scarcity has turned into a downright disappearance — I’m surprised my photo hasn’t appeared on milk cartons. Then again, I rarely buy milk, so maybe it has. Regardless, the blog was on my mind and I felt compelled to check in. Because I miss blogging. And sometimes, I miss my old life.

But in many, many ways, my new life is utterly fantastic.

Working 40 minutes from home, I now spend nearly an hour and half every day just driving back and forth. Add to that the 8 hours I’m at work and the time spent picking up my kids at my parents’ house (and the visiting that tends to happen with that), and I feel like I’m barely home now. It’s not unusual for me to be gone from 7:30AM until 6 or 6:30PM, if not later. I’m still not used to this. But there are a lot of benefits, too.

• Starbucks is right across the street from where I work. I **BIG PUFFY HEART** Starbucks. I’ve earned Gold Status with my rewards card this year. It’s my little indulgence
• The drive to and from work, while long, can be quite beautiful, as well. If I take the rural route–not quite as good of an idea on slick, winter roads, but a must on all days but those that require a stop at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive through while rushing to work–I drive by historic homes on sprawling estates, farms of both the agricultural and animal kind, and outstanding views from high up on hillsides. I am grateful every day for that little bit of miracle in my life.
• The culinary opportunities in the town where I work are astounding. I plowed through many of them early on in my employment, but have had to reign myself in lately, due to our desire to purchase a home.
• I get to pee by myself. Most of the time. Occasionally, I still have people starting conversations with me a la commode, but at least they’re not breaking down the door in the process.
• I work with a truly wonderful group of people. Supportive, intelligent, and funny, they make the days fly by. It’s so different than my prior experience working–thank goodness!

Most exciting of all, we’ve been on the hunt for a home of our own. When we started at the beginning of February, I anticipated a fairly easy process. After all, the last time we bought a house, we looked for a couple weeks at maybe 8 houses total, selected one that was better than the others (it was rental property, so a different set of criteria) and once we settled on a price–which only took a few days–it was smooth sailing. We did have to install handrails on the exterior staircases a week before closing, but that was the only hitch. Bing, bang, boom, in a matter of 6ish weeks, it was ours.

This time… it’s become a true comedy of errors. Between the houses we’ve missed out on by not getting our bid in before bidding closed, to the one that was on the market for nearly 2 years and on the same day we bid, another bid came in and beat us, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions. Find a house we like and bid–up–find out we didn’t get it–down. The one that we did settle on the price for failed the septic and well inspections. $1085 out of pocket and we had to walk away. That was painful. The next one after that–a house only 5 years old that was up for short sale–tweaked our emotions the worst. We put in our bid and were informed that there were multiple offers. We altered our bid and were told that the sellers chose ours to submit to the bank. The very next day, we received apologies–they chose another bid in the end to submit. Heartbreak.

The market is moving at lightening speed. Many times, we can’t even get in to see the house before it goes under deposit. Earlier this week, my husband and I found a house in the morning that we wanted to look at and by afternoon, it was marked “under deposit.” It had been on the market 12 days.

25+ houses and we’re no closer to finding our future home than when we started. If it weren’t for the fact that the four of us and our dog are sharing a four-room, 700-square-foot apartment–and have been in the same place for 10 years now–I would throw in the towel. Take a fantastic vacation with the down payment money and call it a day. Mmmm… cabana boys serving drinks by the ocean? Don’t mind if I do! But that’s not fair to the rest of my family. So trudge along, we will…

I keep telling myself that once we have our own place, my own awesome kitchen in which to cook and bake and throw dirty dishes into the dishwasher–instead of being the dishwasher–all will be well. But the truth of the matter is that everything has changed forever. This is my new normal. And I need to carve out that time now, because making excuses isn’t getting me anywhere. I’m just delaying gratification for no good reason. Boo!

The simple truth is that life is too short to waste.

My Grandmother passed away on Easter. The world is missing a strong, kind-hearted, angel of a lady. We’ve said our goodbyes and I’m glad her suffering is over. Nobody should be tortured, yet that’s what she was in the end by her illness. Her absence is still raw, even for the kids. My daughter confided in me tonight that she misses Grandma and she’s having a hard time thinking about anything else. Nearly 7 years old, yet years ahead of her true age, and I just don’t know what to do for her other than to keep offering hugs and assurances that she can talk about it all with me. I answer her questions and offer her love and hope that she sees brighter days again soon. Grandma would want that…

Is there life without baking? Indeed. It’s not the same, but it can be just as fulfilling.