Somehow it mystifies us every time it happens, but we’re in the midst of a blizzard warning and the frantic preparation has begun: snowmageddon is clearly upon us and we’re likely not to escape it unscathed unless we have adequate supplies of milk, eggs, and bread. French toast, anyone?
Snow used to be a normal occurrence. Winters of my youth had snowstorms-a-plenty, with ample opportunities for frolicking and making a quick buck helping out a neighbor with her driveway. Snow forts in the piles at the end of the dead-end street afforded many hours of unsupervised imaginative play, without the constant accessibility by cell phone that parents rely upon these days. What a world!
Still, 15-25 inches of the white stuff is nothing to ignore. Nervously joke about, sure. But great peril could come to those who do not properly prepare. This is no laughing matter.
Forget the lines at the gas station and the empty shelves of bread at the grocery store. All you need are a few things to maintain your sanity and you’ll come out on the other side of this completely fine. Trust me.
Lots of it. Enough to put yourself into a state of inebriation that won’t evaporate until long after the roads are cleared down to the pavement again. Especially if you’ll be trapped in the house with two stir crazy kids. Beer is my drink of choice, but any booze will do. Stay away from the bottom shelf unless you want to be dealing with the hangover hurricane that will follow. It’s not worth it!
2. Toilet Paper
Laugh all you want, but during SuperStorm Sandy, we rationed 1 roll of toilet paper among the 3 of us (2 of which are children who don’t understand rationing) because I forgot this one little staple item that should be a given. Leaves are scarce this time of year and if you lose power, you won’t be able to wash dirtied socks. Pick up a 4- or 6-pack, just in case. Your bum will thank you. So will your neighbors.
Fried up with a side of eggs. Baked in the oven with a sprinkling of brown sugar. Hot or cold, the options are endless. You’ll need the fat and protein to give you the energy to dig yourself out. And if the power goes out, you can store it in the snow. Or just eat it. Just don’t grill it directly on the grate, unless you want a visit from the fire department.
4. Fully-Charged Portable DVD Player – Or Portable Gaming System – Or Tablet
Once the kids start getting antsy and angry, you’ll need this to keep them from killing each other–preferably one for each kid. Yes, throwing them out into the snow for some good old-fashioned fun is a superb idea, but not in the heart of the storm. You may never see them again! Books, Legos, and art projects will also work, with varying results. In a pinch, a blanket fort will do. For about 5 minutes.
Every kind you can think of. Every flavor. Lots of it. Chocolate gives energy. Chocolate gives sanity. Chocolate gives a reason to live. Chocolate will give you a light at the end of the tunnel. Hide the good stuff from the kids, though. They can have the check-out line fare.
In all seriousness, stay safe out there. It’s not too often we see predictions in the feet range. A sense of humor is a necessity at times like this!